Welcome to Texas Biker Magazine

Monday, 21 November 2011 23:41

Glam's Shoe Collection

Written by

glam1

 

This shoe has been added to Glam's Shoe Collection.

 

glam

 

 



 

shoes8


These Coach boots belong to the one and only...Glam!

 

shoes7

 

 


 

 

shoes1

 

Glam added these dotted boots at the 9th Annual PRO Convention in Atlanta, Georgia.

 

shoes3

 

 




 

glamshoe

 

Glam's at it again...Here's one more shoe added to her collection.

 

glamshoe1

 

 


shoe5.1

 

Glam added these purple sequenced boots from the Lone Star Rally in Galveston.


shoes5

 


      
     img_9956_1

 

This boot was taken in Louisiana before The Boot Ride in Lafayette, LA.  She was definitely riding with style.

 

IMG_9875

 

 



 

shoe_ludas

THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULES:

Ordinarily, in order to have your shoes featured in Glam's Shoe Collection, you must be on the bike set with a so FAB pair of shoes.  The concept is to put the Heel to the Steel.  Well I met the exception to the rule.  This past weekend TBM had the esteem pleasure of having ALL Backstage ACCESS to the artists at the  Q 95’s Ultimate Jam Concert featuring Ludacris, Lloyd, Bobby Valentino, Mr. Magic and a plethora of artists.  We did our own version of Access Hollywood in Plaisance, Louisiana.  I had the honor of meeting Ludacris’ wife, Eudoxie Agnan from South Africa and former pre-med student.  Not only was she beautiful, she was cool and humble.   Although she isn't a biker, she described her husband as an enthusiast with a collection of bikes.  She alone deserves being on the shoe rack rocking her 5 in Christian Louboutin  Red Bottom  Heels.   She truly lived up to her nick name, FAB!!! Big Ups to you girl, hope you like the shout out.  


Wednesday, 16 November 2011 23:19

Humor Me....

Written by
You Ask...Then I Laugh...
Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? 
Answer: Because they want to. 

Question: What do diapers and Politicians have in common? 
Answer: They both need changing regularly - for exactly the same reason. 

Question: What is the definition of the early evening news? 
Answer: It starts with the words "Good evening" then spends the next half an hour tellling you why it isn't one. 

Question:What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? 
Answer: Your shinbone 

Question: Why do parents give children a middle name? 
Answer: So the child knows when it is in seriously in trouble
Question: What would you have if you crossed a panther with a beef burger? 
Answer: Really fast food. 

Question: What would you have if you crossed a pig with a karate expert? 
Answer: Pork chops 

Question: Why do traffic lights rarely go swimming? 
Answer: They take much too long to change. 

Question: Why do thieves shower before they commit crime? 
Answer: Because they like a clean getaway. 

Question: What type of bow can never be tied? 
Answer: A Rainbow. 

Question: Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? 
Answer: He couldn’t get a date. 

Question: Why couldn’t the pirate play poker? 
Answer: He was sat on the deck. 

Question: Which is the loudest state in the U.S.A.? 
Answer: ILLI NOISE. 

Question: Why is it that birds fly southwards for the winter? 
Answer: Because it is much too far to walk. 

Question: Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal next to a group of basketball players?. 
Answer: They dribble far too much. 

Question: How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? 
Answer: No idea as none have ever made it out yet. 

Question: Where can you obtain virgin wool? 
Answer: Really ugly sheep. 

Question: How can you treble the value any Skoda car? 
Answer: Put a gallon of petrol in it. 

Question: What is the best definition of a mixed emotion? 
Answer: Watching the mother-in-law reverse off a cliff driving your brand new car. 

Question: What is a cow with no legs called? 
Answer: Ground Beef. 

Question: Why does a divorce cost so much? 
Answer: Because it is worth it. 
Question: What would you have if you crossed a panther with a beef burger? 
Answer: Really fast food. 

Question: What would you have if you crossed a pig with a karate expert? 
Answer: Pork chops 

Question: Why do traffic lights rarely go swimming? 
Answer: They take much too long to change. 

Question: Why do thieves shower before they commit crime? 
Answer: Because they like a clean getaway. 

Question: What type of bow can never be tied? 
Answer: A Rainbow. 

Question: Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? 
Answer: He couldn’t get a date. 

Question: Why couldn’t the pirate play poker? 
Answer: He was sat on the deck. 

Question: Which is the loudest state in the U.S.A.? 
Answer: ILLI NOISE. 

Question: Why is it that birds fly southwards for the winter? 
Answer: Because it is much too far to walk. 

Question: Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal next to a group of basketball players?. 
Answer: They dribble far too much. 

Question: How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? 
Answer: No idea as none have ever made it out yet. 

Question: Where can you obtain virgin wool? 
Answer: Really ugly sheep. 

Question: How can you treble the value any Skoda car? 
Answer: Put a gallon of petrol in it. 

Question: What is the best definition of a mixed emotion? 
Answer: Watching the mother-in-law reverse off a cliff driving your brand new car. 

Question: What is a cow with no legs called? 
Answer: Ground Beef. 

Question: Why does a divorce cost so much? 
Answer: Because it is worth it. 

Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? 
Answer: Because they want to. 

Question: What do diapers and Politicians have in common? 
Answer: They both need changing regularly - for exactly the same reason. 


Question: What is the definition of the early evening news? 
Answer: It starts with the words "Good evening" then spends the next half an hour tellling you why it isn't one.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she went to a beautician it took 12 hours... to get a quote!
Yo mama is so ugly that she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo mama is so ugly that people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama is so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo mama is so ugly that the government moved Halloween to her birthday!
Yo mama is so ugly that she scares the roaches away.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back and shakes its head.
Yo mama is so ugly that she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.
Yo mama is so ugly that she makes blind children cry.
Yo mama is so ugly that she climbed the ugly ladder and didn't miss a step.
Yo mama is so ugly that the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.
Yo mama is so ugly that we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.
Yo mama is so ugly that her shadow ran away from her.
Yo mama is so ugly that she could scare the flies off a shit wagon.
Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate contained an apology letter from the condom factory.
Yo mama is so ugly that that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo mama is so ugly that she tried to take a bath and the water jumped out!
Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"
Yo mama is so ugly that her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.
Yo mama is so ugly that they didn't give her a costume when she auditioned for Star Wars.
Yo mama is so ugly that even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo mama is so ugly that when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama is so ugly that that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo mama is so ugly that they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints
Yo mama is so ugly that you have to tie a steak around her neck so the dog will play with her!
Yo mama is so ugly that just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama is so ugly that she made an onion cry!
Yo mama is so ugly that when I last saw a mouth like hers, it had a hook in it.
Yo mama is so ugly that she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!
Yo mama is so ugly that they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she goes to the therapist, he makes her lie on the couch face down.
Yo mama is so ugly that she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.
Yo mama is so ugly that even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she was born, the doctor slapped her AND her parents!
Yo mama is so ugly that she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit by the whole damn tree.
Yo mama is so ugly that she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.
Yo mama is so ugly that she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.
Yo mama is so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.
Yo mama is so ugly that she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.
Yo mama is so ugly that it looks like she's been bobbing for french fries.
Yo mama is so ugly that her pillow cries at night.
Yo mama is so ugly that people at the circus pay money not to see her.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror it says "viewer discretion is advised."
Yo mama is so ugly that she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.
Yo mama is so ugly that people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.
Yo mama is so ugly that I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo mama is so ugly that if she was a scarecrow, the corn would run away.
Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.
Yo mama is so ugly that I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.
Yo mama is so ugly that she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking.
Yo mama is so ugly that it looks like someone did the stanky leg dance on her face.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.
Yo mama is so ugly that she put the Boogie Man out of business!
Yo mama is so ugly that she made obama lose hope!

Yo mama was such an ugly baby that her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.

 



MEN vs WOMEN
Capturejoke1
Capturejoke2
Capturejoke3

YO MAMA SO SKINNY...

Yo mama's so skinny, I could blind-fold her with dental floss


Yo mama's so skinny, she turned sideways and disappeared


Yo mama's so skinny, she looks like a mic stand


Yo mama's so skinny, if she had a sesame seed on her head, she'd look like a push pin


Yo mama's so skinny, if she turned sideways and stuck out her tongue, she would look like a zipper


Yo mama's so skinny, when she wore her yellow dress, she looked like a #2 pencil


Yo mama's so skinny, she can see out the peephole with both eyes


Yo mama's so skinny, she can dodge rain drops


Yo mama's so skinny, she only has one stripe on her pajamas


Yo mama's so skinny, she has to wear skis in the shower


Yo mama's so skinny, she has to run around in the shower to get wet


Yo mama's so skinny, when she takes a bath and lets the water out, her

toes get caught in the drain


Yo mama's so shinny, she had to stand in the same place twice to cast a shadow


Yo mama's so skinny, she can hula hoop in a fruit loop


Yo mama's so skinny, her pants have one belt loop


Yo mama's so skinny, you can save her from drowning by tossing her a Cheerio


Yo mama's so skinny, if she had dreads I'd grab her by the ankles and use her to mop the floor


Yo mama's so skinny, she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant

HOW UNLUCKY
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."

"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."

The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."



Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren't:

10. I need to whip it out by 5!
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Put it in my box before I leave.

7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk NOW!!
5. Hmmm........I think it's out of fluid.
4. My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
1. It's not fair...I do all the work and he just sits there.


birthcertificate

 

She left her purse on Noah's Ark.


She still owes Moses a dollar.

She uses her hot flushes to heat her cup of Tea.

When I asked for her ID she handed me a rock.

She recalls when the Grand Canyon was a ditch.

She sat in front of Jesus in 1st grade.

Her first job was as Cain and Abel's baby-sitter.

Adam & Eve tried to adopt her at birth.



DEFINING POLITICS

SON:  Dad, I have to do a special report for school ... can I ask you a question?
FATHER:  Sure son, what's the question?
SON:  What is politics?
FATHER:  Well, let's take our home for example ... I make the money, so let's call me Government. Your mother is the investor of the money, so we'll call her management. We take care of your needs, so let's call you the people. We'll call the maid the working class ... and your baby brother we will call the future ... do you understand?
SON:  I'm not really sure, dad ... I'll have to think about it.

THAT NIGHT
Awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He then went to the maid's room where, peeking through the key hole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheard by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to bed.

THE NEXT MORNING
SON:  Dad, now I think I understand politics.
FATHER:  That's great son! Now explain it to me in your own words.
SON:  Well dad, while GOVERNMENT is screwing the WORKING CLASS, MANAGEMENT is sound asleep, the PEOPLE are being completely ignored and the FUTURE is full of shit.

women_rule1
WHY MEN CAN'T WIN...
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.


Monday, 14 November 2011 12:30

You Ask. We Answer.

Written by

 

YOU ASKED:  "How do I nominate someone for Biker Dude and Biker Babe?"

 

 

WE ANSWERED:  There are three different methods available to nominate somene as a nominee for Biker Dude & Biker Babe of the Month.  To officially submit a nomination, select one of the following methods.

 

  • Send your nomination by email to:  This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and provide a contact number and the username of the person you are nominating.
  • Call us toll free at 1-888-9TX-BIKER and verbally submit your nomination along with the username,contact number and an email for the person you are nominating.
  • Face-to-face to a TBM staff member.  This is not recommended since there is a chance the staff member may forget.


Once a person is nominated, their names are put on a list until they are contacted by a staff member.

 

 


 

YOU ASKED:  "Why does TBM attend every other event, but they didn't attend my event?  How does TBM choose what events they attend?"

 

WE ANSWERED:  TBM's #1 priority is our booked events.  All booked events are favored over any other events.  It is our goal to treat booked events as if they were our own.  For unbooked events, they are attended based on the staff's availability and tiime.  There is no particular way to choose which events are attended.  Since we are not obligated to attend unless we are booked, it is up to the working staff's descretion on which event they will try and attend.  TBM is never guaranteed to attend any events unless it is a booked event.  That's the only way of knowing whether TBM will be attending an event.


 

Monday, 14 November 2011 11:55

I'm Just Saying...

Written by

IM_JUST_SAYING

 

Why does everyone base the success of an event on how many people or the number of different clubs that supported their event.  Instead of focusing on the entire purpose of having the event, it seems as though it’s more important who shows up and how many people packs the house.  Shouldn’t a club’s anniversary event be considered successful simply because that club made another year?  That in itself says “successful” in more ways than one.  Isn’t the focus on the wrong thing...I’m just saying!

 

 



 

Why do some clubs come out to support other club events right before their anniversary?  And the worst part of it all, right after their anniversary party the club breaks up.  What a waist of time for those clubs supporting that club as well as the club itself...I’m just saying!


 


 

 

Why can't we just unite as one and host charity events and functions together instead of having a million little fundraisers that probably only raises $10 compared to potentially raising thousands as a whole?

 

 


 

Do we really need 10,000 different charity functions instead of joining forces to host one large event.  This would free up more time to ride, protocol, mentoring club improvement and increasing knowledge.  There is one particular club whom claimed to support Breast Cancer Awareness and it took over 8 months of threats before any of the collected money reached its proper destination.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  


 

There have been more and more fights between people\ and clubs lately.  I mean...can we all just get along?  And can we leave our gun named "Nay Nay" at the house too because when she comes out she makes grown men scatter like a whole bunch of roaches.  So leave your gun "Nay Nay" at the house...She don't know how to act.  I'm Just Saying...



Why are most people bold enough to talk about a person to others, but scared to say it to that person.  You have to know it's eventually going to get back to that person and there's a great possibility some people don't really listen too well to pass it on correctly in the first place.   Wouldn't it be more feasible to just say it to that person?  I'M JUST SAYING...



 

There has got to be more ways to celebrate your club anniversary,  It's the same weekend over and over & over.  You have the meet & greet, morning ride & the anniversary party that night.  It's getting a bit old & repetitive ya think?  I'M JUST SAYING...


Friday, 11 November 2011 10:15

Who's On 2's..

Written by
eye
Who's On Their 2's this week...

Check out Tyteeyez as he burns out at C.H.A.O.S.' last bike night in Killeen at C.H.A.O.S.' clubhouse.  Tyteeyez is the President of Soul II Soul of Killeen.
Wednesday, 02 November 2011 04:56

Peep Tha Scene

Written by

SCENE

Who's ON Tha Scene?

 

Peep Tha Scene in Lafayette, Louisiana at The Boot Ride featuring a whole lot of Hard Riders of Houston, Galveston & Lafayette, Second II None of Houston & DFW, G.L.O.W., Buffalo Soldiers, 3rd Coast Strokers, and many independents.  

 

Tuesday, 01 November 2011 08:05

GET TO KNOW

Written by

PEEP

GET TO KNOW...the Street Soldiers!

 

This photo of the Street Soldiers was taken at the Houston Chapter #1 Stunnas Anniversary Party in Houston, TX.  Currently, there is a Street Soldier Chapter in both Beaumont and in Houston.  Get to know the Street Soldiers.

Monday, 31 October 2011 19:31

ON BLAST!

Written by
blast
Check out SECOND II NONE!
 
ON BLAST this week - The DFW & Houston Chapters of Second II None.  Both Chapters of Second II None participated in The Boot Ride in Lafayette with the Dirty Riders, Hard Riders, ladies of G.L.O.W. and many other clubs and independents on Saturday afternoon for a countryside ride of turns and curves...And as you know - Second II None says...COME GET SOME!!
Monday, 10 October 2011 15:24

STRIKE-A-POSE...Black Kat

Written by

bk1

"Show 'em what you working with"

Check out the STRIKE-A-POSE photo of Black Kat and her club brother, Da Wiggla, as they get it crunk at her 40th Birthday Bash Saturday night at Vincenzo's in Houston.  

Monday, 10 October 2011 14:38

TBM's TOP 30 MOST VIEWED PHOTO ALBUMS

Written by

Untitled

These are the TOP 30 MOST VIEWED PHOTO ALBUMS from January 1, 2011 until September 30, 2011.  Last month, there was a slight error with the list given before being it was the TOP 10 MOST VIEWED PHOTO ALBUMS for the entire month of August 2011.  In that list, Down Az Ridaz lead with the most views.  Check out who's at the top for January 1, 2011 through September 30, 2011.

Page 9 of 10